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We understand your wedding day can be a little nerve-wracking, especially when you have to stand up in front of all your family and friends to read your vows, but just remember you're marrying your best friend, someone you laugh with more than anyone else in the world. So, let's ditch the traditional promises and calm a few wedding tensions by throwing some laughter into proceedings with some funny wedding vows.

Check out our list of the 25 Funniest Wedding Vows below. You could either use them as they are or adapt them to make your own unique oaths tailored to your loved one.

25 Funny Wedding Vows

  • Even if it's 100% your turn to make a cup of tea, I vow to make one with minimal fuss
  • I promise to still love you even when we're constructing Ikea furniture
  • I vow to not take any of your annoying habits to heart because I love you... but please just put the keys back on the hook instead of flinging them on the table
  • I vow to laugh at all your jokes, even though they're mostly awful
  • I vow to be a loving and faithful wife to you. And patient, incredibly patient
  • I promise to never steal the bed covers, unless you're hogging them all
  • I promise not to turn the light on, open the curtains or deliberately clatter about when you have a hangover
  • I promise to let you think you've won the occasional argument, even though deep down, we both know I'm right
  • I vow to let you capture any spiders that come near me so you can look like a tough guy every now and then
  • I vow to nearly always notice when you've had your haircut
  • I promise to trust you when you ignore the sat nav because you "know a short cut"
  • Let's grow old disgracefully together
  • I promise to try not to be hangry too often, but please learn to spot the signs early on and whip me up something tasty
  • I promise to love you even when you get old and fat
  • I vow not to keep score... I always win anyway
  • I vow to give you the same love and support that I give to my cats
  • You're the only person I want to spend every night with arguing over where we're going to eat
  • I promise to remind myself that perfection is so rare I can hardly expect you to be just because I am
  • I promise to support _______ even though I couldn't give a monkey's who wins
  • I promise to only show you my new clothes when the adverts are on and not, I repeat not, during the football
  • I vow to comfort you when your team loses and never utter the phrase "it's only a game"
  • I promise to listen when you're talking to me about sports, beer or whatever you talk about, and not just look at my phone saying "hmm, yes dear"
  • I vow to not carry on watching a Netflix series we started together without you. Or at least pretend it's the first time I've watched it when we watch it again
  • I promise to give you control of the remote once I've finished with it and literally can't find anything else worth watching
  • I vow to put up with your favourite TV shows if you put up with mine
Wedding Gifts

So there you go, there's our 25 funny wedding vows. Need more inspiration? Check out these hilarious wedding vows:

"I promise to be here, with you, forever..."

"I promise what's mine is yours, except my XBOX and my lunchbox"

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