Congratulations! You’re going to be a bridesmaid. Again. Your mother will be asking when it’s going to be your turn? Again. But that’s ok, it’s not as if it’s something that keeps you up at weekends watching Bridget Jones Diary for the 37th time while eating approximately your own bodyweight in ice cream and Pringles...
Let’s focus on everything you should know to be the best bridesmaid ever. And who knows, maybe your Mark Darcy will be at the do...?
- 1Yes, you're probably going to have to wear a dress you don't like. But it's not your day, the bride is worried enough already so smile and look gorgeous (or as gorgeous as a cerise puffball dress and feathered tiara will allow).
- 2No matter how much you pray to the wedding seating gods, you will end up on a table of weirdos.
- 3Being ultra-nice to the waiting staff does not guarantee you'll bag two puddings.
- 4No one is too cool for school at a wedding disco. No matter how cheesy the music.
- 5The bride will have the odd bridezilla moment. That doesn't make her a bad person, that makes her a nervous bride, so try not to take it personally.
- 6If you're chief bridesmaid you will have to dance with the best man. Pray the groom's picked a good'un.
- 7Ancient wedding custom dictates that there should be one inappropriate uncle at every wedding reception. Sod's law dictates that you'll end up sitting next to him.
- 8There ain't no party like an S Club party... Actually, there is, it's called a hen party and it's going to be fabulous!
- 9The bride might have a few wobbles and worries along the way, so keep your fridge stocked with emergency wine and chocolate.
- 10The only hymns anyone can ever remember are the ones they sang in school assembly.
- 11When the officiant says, "Does anyone know of any reason why these two should not be wed..." You will get the urge to shout something crazy out. That's not weird. Is it?
- 12Good news, you're getting a free dinner and disco! Bad news, you're going to have to pay for new shoes, hair, make-up, hen party, present, drinks, transport. But still... Pudding. Yay?
- 13No matter how much time you spend finding the perfect gift, someone will trump you. You can save all that hassle by simply fostering them a donkey. Who doesn't love donkeys, right?
- 14There will be bad/dad dancing. It will be hilarious and potentially harmful to small children, so be prepared to play goalkeeper/lifesaver.
- 15Someone will get drunk at the wedding reception. Don't let it be you.
- 16Not all weddings are created equal. Try not to ask the bride just how much they spent on the moat full of pink swans and hiring their own Elton John tribute... Hang on, that IS Elton ruddy John!
- 17It is perfectly acceptable to feign a broken leg and spend the entire hen party and wedding on crutches in order to avoid being roped in to a "Crazy, surprise wedding dance... We're going to do Gangnam Style!!!"
So, there you have it. Everything you didn’t know you needed to know. It won’t prevent you from being dressed in a Game of Thrones inspired dress or from having to dance the Macarena, but hopefully our 17 things every bridesmaid should know has at least given you time to set your face to “I’m having the time of my life!” mode. But it is a wedding, the happiest day of someone’s life and despite any worries, any day filled with that much love will be fantastic.
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