All Things Wedding

Worst Things To Say At A Wedding

September 10, 2015

Weddings are a treacherous precipice of social faux pas, once you’ve battled through the do’s and don’ts of the ceremony it’s then onto the huge minefield of wedding reception small talk. The potential to be left hopping, desperately trying to get your other foot out of your mouth or innocent/unknowing comments that are left smouldering like comedy bombs waiting to go off as you scurry away holding your head in your hands. So we thought we’d ask around for the worst things you can possibly say at a wedding with some hilarious results.

• “Well it’s about time they got married, they can’t carry on being happy forever!”
• “Didn’t she wear that at her last wedding?”
• “WHAT? You mean I bought a present and there isn’t even a free bar?!?”
• “If anyone wants me I’ll be sat at the singles table…. Crying.”
• “I just hope the food is a lot more tasteful than the dress!”
• “…of course they were both a lot more attractive back then.”
• “Come on everyone let’s Gangnam Style!”
• “Well I suppose she could’ve done worse.”

wedding sign

• “I brought some friends with me, I hope you don’t mind.”
• “As soon as the bride says “I do,” shout, “Okay, you’ve won the bet! Now stop before it’s too late!”
• “I take thee Rachel…”
• “I don’t know why he looked so nervous, it’s not as if this is his first time.”
• “Wow! Her make-up artist is a miracle worker!”
• “No I’m not family, I was just passing and saw there was cake.”
• “I’m one of his exes, I think there’s quite a few of us here actually.”
• “Is it just the dress… or is she pregnant?”

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wedding drinks

• “…of course they would never have met if they hadn’t both been in the clinic at the same time…”
• “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
• “I hope this marriage lasts longer than her other three.”
• “The Lannisters send their regards.”
• “I can’t believe she managed to squeeze into that dress!”
• “All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” – Raymond Hull
• “Statistically speaking you’re more likely to be killed by your spouse… What? Just saying!”
• “…of course it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind. Except when it comes to blame, then it’s always her husband.”
• Anything that draws attention to the mother of the groom’s moustache.

If you’re still in the wedding planning stages you’ll find everything you need for an amazing pre-wedding weekend in our Hen Party Handbook. Check out some hilarious hen do games or hen dares find out what your hen party nickname should be.

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