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9 Worst Things to Happen at a Spa

October 30, 2017

A spa should be a place to relax, leave the worries of the world behind you. But sometimes you can leave feeling more stressed than you went in.

1. Your Boss Is There

Quite possibly the last person on earth you want to see at a spa. Made even worse if you see them taking off their robe to reveal they have a hairy back. And yet worse still if your hairy backed boss is a woman.

2. Your Ex is There

No! Why here?!? You’re supposed to bump into your ex when you’ve been on a diet, had your hair done, are looking tanned and gorgeous. Not as you walk out the sauna with sweat soaked hair stuck to your forehead and Alice Cooper eyes.

3. Wet Paint Wearer

Great, they’re decorating and you didn’t see the WET PAINT sign until roughly one second after you got paint all over your towel and skin. “I hate you Monday!”

4. Get the Wrong Dress Code

To Scandi or not to Scandi, that is the question. Is this a very new, liberal, trendy spa where everyone goes naked? Or should you be firmly clothed? Either way get it wrong you will look like a weirdo. What’s a girl to do?!?

5. Your Secret Crush Is There

Of all the spas in all the world, Sexy Coffee Shop Guy had to walk into the one where you’re currently wearing nothing but a dressing gown and paper pants.

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6. Banana Man

“Is that a banana in your robe pocket or are you pleased to see me?” It’s singularly the most awful sight in the world. A spa goer whose hands are by his side and yet he’s still pointing to the ceiling. Ask a member of staff to have him removed immediately (sorry, ‘member’ wasn’t a good choice of word).

7. Wearing Paper Pants

What is it with these things?!? Wear them..? You could parachute in them! Don’t they realise how much damage they’re doing to the rain forest? And why are they so roomy at the front? They must know women have flat bits, not sticky out/dangly bits, there’s simply no need for all the bagginess. We demand paper pants for women!

8. Cucumbered

You’re offered cucumber, you eat it while everyone else put theirs on your eyes. How were you to know? It’s like that dinner party when you were spooning water into your mouth from what turned out to be a finger bowl.

9. Someone Shower Shaving

Showering in a public changing room is already traumatic enough for some people, it becomes even more hideous when the person showering next to you is shaving as well. But that’s still not the worst part. It’s your boss and she’s shaving her back!

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